That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
