I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
