Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
