And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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