you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize