I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
