Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
