im having a threesome with these popsicles
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
