I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
