how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
