It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
