OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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