Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
