another moral hangover. fuck.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
