At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
