dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
