eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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