I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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