am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
