I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
