at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
