Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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