If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
