I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
