dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
