just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
