The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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