i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
