We're facebook friends in real life
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
