If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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