my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
