you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
