im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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