Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize