i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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