Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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