Yo dont text me then not text me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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