im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
