He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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