How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize