Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
