Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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