I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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