Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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