you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
