Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
