she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
