something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
