Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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