Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
