she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
