Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
