so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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