He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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