Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
