I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
