She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My pussy is not your playground.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
