Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
