why do cheetos always look like penises
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
