Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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