help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
whose ass print is on the piano?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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