69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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