i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
